Screen Shot 2015-03-04 at 6.50.50 AMIn 2012, I started the year by writing about REVOLUTION.

2012 = Revolution – everything in life got turned on end, things changed quickly. I lost my job. I got a new job. I decided to figure out how to work for myself. I started all over again.

2013 = REvolution and REVELATION. Revelation – everything in life revealed itself.  I evolved. How I was going to work for myself revealed itself. I started my own business. I worked my ass off for ME.

I believed it could work. Not everything was perfect. My dog died. I couldn’t write as much. I had some complications. It wasn’t the easiest thing ever, but I changed because of what I saw around me. Life revealed itself because I was willing to stay with it. 2013 was revealing how to thrive.

2014 – this year was all about LOVE. I fell further in love with working for myself. I sweated it out and worked out over 250 times in 2014. Self LOVE. We bought our love of a dream home. Still can’t believe I live here HOME LOVE. I got married.  BIG LOVE. What more is there to LOVE? My whole life I’ve searched everywhere for love and found it right in my own heart, my home and my partner.

For 2015 – I started off by getting sick, like ill for weeks on end and now after much self-love, taking care of-en – I’m finally ready. Ready for what comes next. Ready to commit. Ready to write it all down on the page. READY to do it. I’m ready to be open for signs and symbols for myths and metaphors and to bring my A game every single day. For abundance, for dreams, and for the right here and now. READY 2015 – I’m ready.  I hope you’re ready too.


The holidays are a perfect time to think about how drama works in my life.  Anytime is actually perfect, but especially the holidays.

I hear people say “The Holidays are stressful.” “My family drives me nuts.” “I feel obligated to do so many things.”

We have work parties, friend parties, family parties and other obligations to give and give of ourselves. It can be exhausting.

It doesn’t have to be though.

We choose to participate. If we don’t like seeing our family over the holidays or being overbooked, why do we do it? Why do we say yes? Obligation?

Why are we so focused on gifts and buying and doing around the holidays? Can’t we spread it out a little over the year? If the holidays are about the spirit of being thankful and for giving and maybe forgiving, can’t we be thankful and give to ourselves and forgive ourselves a little for being human and not being able to go the extra mile every single time?

There is not enough time in the world to participate in all the drama we could. There is enough time to say no. To take care of yourself first. During a plane crash, no one says run around and put everyone else’s oxygen mask on first, they say – stay calm, put yours on and then help others.

We choose to have time for drama and stating the negative about what’s happening in our lives. We give little or no time on getting clear on what we want to do and what we don’t want to do.

What if we could do what we want to do, without obligation?

Drama is a choice.

If your Mother drives you crazy but deep down you really do enjoy spending time with her. Stop complaining, accept her for who she is, learn to set boundaries and keep them. And maybe, just maybe it will feel less stressful. If your Father, brother, sister, friends, coworkers are making you feel pressured, we can choose something different.

But she’s MY MOTHER!/Sister/Colleague/Best Friend – you might say. She’s also a grown woman. Sometimes we forget that.

One of the reasons we choose to stay in the drama is – it’s easier. It’s easier to grumble along being a little unhappy, or really unhappy, because it’s hard to have the conversation that you’re not happy and that you’d like things to change. We don’t give ourselves credit for wanting it enough to change it. We’re scared of what might change, who might get angry and most of all how we might have to change.

I used think and this is embarrassing to admit – that if someone I cared about asked me to do something, I had to do it.  I really believed that.  I had to learn how to say no and not feel guilty. It wasn’t easy, but it was necessary for me.

Eleven months ago – I decided making a New Year’s Resolution was not enough and that I needed to create a New Year’s Revolution. It’s been a good, but scary ride.  Change and choices are not always easy. I’m not always where I want to be. I don’t always know what to do, but I’ll keep trying to figure it out.  Sometimes the hard part is knowing what to do when you’re on the other side of whatever was causing you drama, the exciting part is knowing you can do it.

What drama are you letting go this holiday season?


we are not always meant to win.

we do not always have to try hard.

trying hard is not the only answer, letting go is a good answer too.

sometimes trying hard, winning, fighting, is about ego and not really about winning.

there could be ten other things waiting for you and instead you are in the I MUST WIN THIS mode and you’re missing out on the one thing that could save you. most likely that’s you.

knowing when to surrender is just as important as knowing when to fight.

for me – i’m definitely in the trying hard part, but not FIGHTING part, trying to define myself, to remember who i am at my core, to live my manifesto (more on this in another post), to follow my intuition, to flow with not knowing, to trust that the money will come.

to respect my authentic voice, whatever it happens to be saying in the moment.

Acting and defining things are not always the solution, but you have to be ready to rise whenever the occasion to RISE calls on you. You can’t be lazy. You have to show up, to be ready.  It’s more than wanting that you need, you need to need it in your soul, not in a clinging, I have to win this way. When you are ready – you will know when it has arrived – or see the path to take, and you’ll also – if you are listening – know when to let it go.

This reminds me of the much quoted Mary Oliver poem

The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice–
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
“Mend my life!”
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do–
determined to save
the only life you could save.

So, if saving your life is the one thing you do today. How do you do it? Do you WIN? Do you LET GO? Depends on the time and crossroads, sometimes you have to let go to WIN.