Big CANvas type of WORDS.

It’s fall and I suppose I need to get back to writing.

~

I’m not a poet, but every now and then I write something that sounds like poetry. I imagine it written on a big canvas.

She was mysterious
Wondrous
Thinking of things she could have
If only she would have
Thought a little less
Pushed herself under
Peeled back one more layer
Took something deep into her heart
And let it loose
Gave it freedom
If only she might have
Been a little less strong
A little more vulnerable
And in the end she became those anyway
Who she had been designed to be
Because she wasn’t willing to go on her own
The turn of fate
Dealt its own hand.

~

And then I imagine another big canvas that says

KEEP GOING KEEP WRITING – KEEp PainTING keep on. GO>!

Sometimes you have to get knocked down, knocked back, knocked under to save your own life.

~hiatus over.

Today.

Every morning I wake up and pinch myself. I think – why – oh – why didn’t I do this before? Why – oh – why didn’t I start my own business before?

The answer – I wasn’t ready for it and neither was my life.

It’s that simple. Trusting that I’m doing the right things at the right time is always a challenge, but things always happen when they are at the right moment to happen.

I wish

I want

I do

All things in good time. Wishing and wanting are good, but believing in those things is not the only thing.

Do something. Keep wanting, dreaming, believing, but action is everything. Live your life like the story you want it to be – as if – you are already in the new story. Live your life – as if – the story is yours to write. You are writing the next word on the page – what is it going to be?

Had I not had the life-experiences and job-experiences I had in the moments that I had them – I would not be doing what I’m doing now. End of story. LIVE. Everything in your life has brought you to this very moment. It’s yours.

GO!

GO!

A few years ago, I went on a hike and was crying by the end of it – disappointed that I wasn’t in a place physically that I could get up and go for a hike whenever I wanted. So –  I decided, I could keep complaining about not feeling fit, healthy, good about my body, or I could change it. I could wake up in three years saying, I need to exercise or I could wake up in three years and say – I’ve done it!

I’ve been exercising  pretty consistently, but always half-heartedly, getting on a treadmill doesn’t fill me up, but I like to eat, drink wine, feel healthy, fit, go for a hike whenever I want, run, ride, jog, with ease. So that’s what I was doing, walking, running, ellipticalling, strength training my way to fitness.

After I lost my job, I had a lot of time on my hands and some days just wanted to turn my brain off.

I decided to start a six week fitness challenge to try to change things up and get more fit faster.

In these exercise classes, you have to turn off your brain, your body demands it and so does the instructor – eek.

I tried body pump, athletic training, spin, power sculpt, muscle blast, and finally step – which i don’t recommend for anyone who does not know or want to know what the word CHASSE is – I’m also not coordinated enough to GET the moves – it was miserable and a little to perky.

I like most classes I’ve tried, but athletic training at 24 Hour Fitness gives you the most bang for your buck. It’s pure insanity, burpees, baby burps, squats, jump squats, sprinter abs, planks, push ups, and 100% PURE sweat, drive, and determination.

The six week challenge has now turned into a lifetime challenge, because I’ve fallen in love with exercising HARD CORE! 

So, in the last 8 weeks, I’ve taken 26 exercise classes and run 42 miles, sometimes I’ve tried two classes in one day. To me, that doesn’t sound like I’ve done enough now, but it’s a start. I found what works for me, FINALLY!

I’ve haven’t lost a ton of weight, but my body looks different, feels different, is different. My double chin that sometimes hung around is nearly gone. I’m different too. Different – because again I’m realizing over and over that life is about choice, you choose how you are in the world and how you operate, all excuses dissolve into choices. Little by little, you can change your life.

I know that soon, I’ll be working again and I’ll have to choose to keep this in my life, but I’m certain I’m going to DO IT! 

What is it you want? In three years what is IT that you want to wake up and say – I DID IT!

GO! START NOW. GO!