february. two years time.

Screen Shot 2014-02-24 at 7.32.34 AMTwo years ago – I was fired. In FEBRUARY. Some part of me is still shocked by that, but I’m grateful. Grateful that the end was a beginning, as it always is.

A shove, over the edge, to the right direction.

Even a year after being fired, I dreamt about my old job, the people I knew there, the work I believed in. I would wake from dreams feeling terrible about myself, feeling that somehow I had failed. Consciously I knew that it was all okay and that I was going to be fine, but that still small voice in me was afraid. Afraid. Afraid that I couldn’t make it on my own and that amount of fear means only one thing to me – that I am on the right track.

It was me who dodged the bullet. I got out early. Many people who worked for that company for many, many years have now been laid off, doors have been closed – an era has ended and they too have started over. Did any of that have anything to do with me?  Sometimes a moment in time – changes everything for everyone involved.

After all of that I kept my focus on the goal – work for myself – has to be awesome – work from home – has to be awesome – work is not life – has to be awesome.

Last year I started my own business – IN FEBRUARY. And then two weeks later, my dog Wonder died – IN FEBRUARY.

What is it about February?

This year I moved into a dream home. IN FEBRUARY. We found this amazing place to live. One we couldn’t have imagined, or maybe we did imagine all along. I walk around everyday thinking – who lives here? Oh, I do.

And if you had asked me two years ago, after being fired, or last year – after starting out on my own – Would I be here in this moment today?  The answer would have been YES and NO. Yes, because I’ve always worked hard, always thought I could do it even when others thought I couldn’t. I always imagined this. But no, because who comes from places like me and makes it? Someone once told me, sometimes you have to go first. So, here I am going first – or at least trying. First to tell you that you can do it too and that is not bullshit. No bullshit. You can do it. Whatever it is you want to do. You can do it.

You’re going to get knocked down, knocked back, but you can keep getting up. You can learn the skills to make, to do it, to change your life.

There is no time to stand still, change is inevitable. This year is going to be better than ever. Imagine it exactly as you want it. It might be as beautiful as that.

2014. LOVE

Where will you be next FEBRUARY? What can you do in two years? Where will you be two years from now? Do you need help getting there? ask! GO!

What if it’s all true

Screen Shot 2014-02-17 at 8.43.04 AMWhat if it’s all true?

What if every bad thing someone has ever said about you is true? Or has some truth to it.

What if you let it in? Consider it? There is truth in all of it. Might not be my truth, or yours, but there is some truth there. The choice to believe it or dismiss it, that’s what’s up to you. I most times want to go on the defense when I hear something negative about myself, but what if I let if sink in? What harm could that do? Am I obsessive? Am I micro-manager? Can I go with the flow or do I always need a plan? Am I contrary just to be contrary?

On the flip side, what if all the good things anyone has ever said about you is also true. Am I ambitious, tenacious, smart?

That’s the balance of life. We are both – and – only we know the real truth about who we are, but everyone else sees it every day. You can hide the good or the bad, but people see it and so do you. And maybe it’s not “BAD” of “GOOD” at all. Maybe it just is. Maybe our strengths can also be weaknesses.

What if I let the comments in?

Freedom. Freedom from trying to be someone, freedom to be yourself. The good, the bad, the best. We’re all of it.