Hope does not come from being in the light.
Hope comes from being in the dark.
These are dark days – even the season is pushing us to go into the dark and reflect and find hope for the Spring.
It would be easy to turn away from the darkness – to turn on the light.
Sometimes staying with and holding onto the darkness is what we need to find the light.
I think back to when my Mother died and how dark that time was for me.
I turned away from grief then.
I was young, I did not yet have the skills to cope or understand that I needed to grieve and to wallow until I was ready to inch forward.
Instead I moved full-steam ahead, grasping at any light that would get me through.
It only brought me more darkness and with that came emptiness.
If we always look for light out there, we are starting in the wrong place.
The light is not out there, it’s in all of us and sometimes we have to have to go into the dark and be gentle on ourselves and grieve for the light we’ve lost.
It may take a long time, it may take 4 years, but what is four years in a lifetime? A long time to grieve, yes, but life is long.
I want to be angry, but right now, there is nothing but sadness.
I want to grieve and allow the time for uncontrollable sobbing.
I want to take a long look at myself and try to understand my own fear, hate, and bigotry – because this darkness is somehow a reflection of all of us. I want to stay with this darkness.
Darkness gives us the chance to find meaning. It gives us the ability to make change. It gives us the ability to make real change. Not ones that we’ve known before, not what we think change looks like, but what it really is and sometimes that is the scariest place – not knowing.
While this might sound a lot like hope, there’s much work to be done to get to hope
David Whyte says it this way in his poem Sweet Darkness:
Time to go into the dark
where the night has eyes
to recognize its own.
There you can be sure
you are not beyond love.
The dark will be your home tonight.
The night will give you a horizon
further than you can see.
Now is not the time for hope. It is time to go into the sweet darkness. Hope will come, it always does. And you know what hope does?
Hope gives us the ability to see that there is light, our challenge is to find it.
Our challenge is to help those that don’t have the skills to grieve, help those who have only known darkness, help each other find our way through this darkness.
This is our wake up call – are we willing?
The only way out of this darkness is through.