Tag Archives: fired

february. two years time.

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Screen Shot 2014-02-24 at 7.32.34 AMTwo years ago – I was fired. In FEBRUARY. Some part of me is still shocked by that, but I’m grateful. Grateful that the end was a beginning, as it always is.

A shove, over the edge, to the right direction.

Even a year after being fired, I dreamt about my old job, the people I knew there, the work I believed in. I would wake from dreams feeling terrible about myself, feeling that somehow I had failed. Consciously I knew that it was all okay and that I was going to be fine, but that still small voice in me was afraid. Afraid. Afraid that I couldn’t make it on my own and that amount of fear means only one thing to me – that I am on the right track.

It was me who dodged the bullet. I got out early. Many people who worked for that company for many, many years have now been laid off, doors have been closed – an era has ended and they too have started over. Did any of that have anything to do with me?  Sometimes a moment in time – changes everything for everyone involved.

After all of that I kept my focus on the goal – work for myself – has to be awesome – work from home – has to be awesome – work is not life – has to be awesome.

Last year I started my own business – IN FEBRUARY. And then two weeks later, my dog Wonder died – IN FEBRUARY.

What is it about February?

This year I moved into a dream home. IN FEBRUARY. We found this amazing place to live. One we couldn’t have imagined, or maybe we did imagine all along. I walk around everyday thinking – who lives here? Oh, I do.

And if you had asked me two years ago, after being fired, or last year – after starting out on my own – Would I be here in this moment today?  The answer would have been YES and NO. Yes, because I’ve always worked hard, always thought I could do it even when others thought I couldn’t. I always imagined this. But no, because who comes from places like me and makes it? Someone once told me, sometimes you have to go first. So, here I am going first – or at least trying. First to tell you that you can do it too and that is not bullshit. No bullshit. You can do it. Whatever it is you want to do. You can do it.

You’re going to get knocked down, knocked back, but you can keep getting up. You can learn the skills to make, to do it, to change your life.

There is no time to stand still, change is inevitable. This year is going to be better than ever. Imagine it exactly as you want it. It might be as beautiful as that.

2014. LOVE

Where will you be next FEBRUARY? What can you do in two years? Where will you be two years from now? Do you need help getting there? ask! GO!

RELAX into the drowning

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People die from drowning because they fight it. Who wants to die choking on water?  I’d fight it too. But if you relax into the drowning, you are more likely to survive.

RELAX

I was talking to a client on the phone one day.  We were both buried in work, so much so that it felt like we were drinking out of fire hoses all day.  Having been through many weeks of this – I paused for a moment and said “Relax into the drowning, it’s easier that way.“ We both began to laugh, because it was a crazy time, a time when you lose yourself because there is too much to do, think about, be. But if we could relax into it, check off the boxes, do whatever we had to get done and leave the rest for tomorrow, we knew it would be easier. In that moment – we relaxed.

After I was “let go”, “terminated”, “fired” she emailed me and said here are some things that remind me of you.

Relax into the drowning

Don’t harsh my mellow – this was stolen from The Secret, although I didn’t know it at the time.

The mood inside my head is really bright

This is better than dead

If you don’t stand for something – you fall for everything!

I’m thankful for this memory and for her being willing to share it with me. I’ll admit I cried realizing that she wrote my words down and knowing that I made a difference in those crazy moments.

A few years ago I decided that I was going to align who I was in my life with who I was in my work life and this email from her was a great gift – letting me know that I did it! That I really was me at work, maybe not every time, but sometimes. I was true to myself and brought my authentic voice, even in hard times. It wasn’t about doing a job, but was about a real human connection.

Ultimately, we can only be responsible for ourselves and our own decisions, the actions of others are not ours, but if we can stop acting and start being real with each other we may find that sometimes we have an effect on people when we didn’t realize we could.

This is the future of everything, real human connection, not just getting the job done, but making it meaningful. Opening to honest conversations, instead of fighting them, relaxing into it.

What’s drowning you? Call on your authentic voice, to avoid drowning. Relax into it. Make it meaningful.

On_Fire

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To move your life forward you sometimes need a push, or a shove, or to finally realize the choices you’ve been making don’t serve you anymore.

Four weeks ago, at work, I drew a line in the sand and said what I thought and what I believe to be true, not what someone wanted to hear, but exactly what I thought.  I felt in my gut that if I did this I might be fired. I did it anyway, because it was the right thing.  Anyone I asked said,

“Oh no, you’ll never be fired for that!”

Somewhere deeper than I can explain though, I felt it, I knew this choice might just tip the scales.

The GIFT was knowing it was the right thing and could cause a problem and still doing it.  To speak up after all these years of not really speaking up, not just at work, but in life in general. The consequence of not speaking up this time was too great.  I was losing myself and my voice.  Feeling lost is not enough for me anymore.

I WAS fired just shy of one week ago today.  I feel fortunate that even in the moment when I was being fired I understood that it too was GIFT and a choice.   A push, a challenge – to be true to myself, to say what I mean from the most authentic place inside myself.

I never, ever imagined that there would come a day when I would say that I was fired.  I’ve worked since I was 7 years old and I’ve never once been fired. But, now that I have been, it’s one more thing I don’t have to fear.  I thought this was the worst thing that could ever happen and now I realize it’s not, I’m sure there is something worse.  I get the opportunity to reinvent myself, become a little better than before and to be more authentically me.

I do wish the conversation would have gone a bit differently, more genuine, but that was their choice. Now it’s my choice how I deal with it.  I’m a little angry and bitter and am letting those feelings run their course instead of stuffing them back like I would have years ago.  I know I’ll be fine, everything ALWAYS works out as it should, even if it’s a tough road to get there, or the end is not as you expected.

Here’s to what’s next in the world, what’s now. We can have whatever we want in life, we just need to ask for it, to choose it.

I’m not quite sure what the future holds, but I’m asking that whatever it is, it allows me the time to finish my book – oh and it has to be amazing.  Definitely.

Because of my new found freedom, I’ll have the chance to write more and I’ll be posting here two or three times a week, I promise to keep them shorter than this one and hopefully, they’ll be interesting to you.

What do you want to ask for that you think you can’t have?

What PUSH do you need to move forward?