For one week I’ve worked for myself – can i really do this? – jitters, my dog nearly died, the computer nearly died and it’s Mercury Retrograde.

With all of that going on I’m happy and sad. Revolution is not easy. Which made me think of David Whyte’s poem – Revelation must be terrible

And the last line of the poem pays it off:

revelation must be terrible
knowing you can
never hide your voice again.

GULP. It’s true – arriving where you are supposed to be and where you long to be is never what you expect. Although I wasn’t truly setting myself up with an expectation of how this all would happen, I trusted that it would. I would like to feel more settled, but I don’t, so I’m just going to go with it.

I’m reading True Refuge by Tara Brach, it’s definitely a woo-woo kind of book that 10 years ago I would have read in secret and never mentioned out loud, but I get it now, it’s good to find something that helps even if it sounds stupid to someone else.  Maybe that’s what being over 40 taught me – I don’t worry what other people think about these things. Anyway, Tara Brach reminds me to stay in the present.  She also recommends meditation, which I read, but don’t really practice, so that’s pretty half-ass, but it’s a start.

Tara Brach, David Whyte, the love for my dog, understanding that Mercury retrograde will always be a challenging time – it’s what keeps me in the present and out of worrying.

What tools do you have that keep you in the present moment?