Shame on you.
Consciousness of guilt, impropriety, shortcoming. Something to be regretted.
It’s what makes you pause. stop. stall.
Moving through shame is moving through mud, the thick stuff in a swamp. Shame is internal. No one feels your shame, just you.
What if whatever made us feel shame, we named it. Shouted out. Some might say that’s inappropriate. I’d say we don’t have to give details, just say it. I got a DUI. I live with my parents. I let my friends down. I cheated on someone. I was a bad parent. I have a gambling problem. I didn’t pay attention to my partner and they’ve left me. I am poor. I’m a sexual deviant. Whatever your shame is. Name it. Work with it. Change it. Forgive yourself first. We all have our story, our own shame.
I’ve written about vulnerability before and the need for expanding consciousness about our own issues so that collectively we might heal ourselves. Shame is the same way. It’s the bitter taste in your mouth. And yet, saying it makes it real, makes you face it and that is where shame meets vulnerability and the two do not want to talk. Naming your shame can be freeing, but mostly – we don’t want to be free. We like feeling this way and that’s why we stay here with shame.
Shame. No one else likely sees it the same way or maybe they do, but the only way out of shame is through. Open up the conversation, which might be a tough conversation to have, but dig deeper, admit it, talk about it.
Shame can suck it.
On the other side of shame is respect.