I’m not feeling IT today – feeling a tiny bit dead inside actually – My mind always says PEP UP, do something to feel better and then I remember and try to retrain my brain, it’s okay to feel down, you won’t stay down forever, feel it this time, really feel it, examine it, GO DOWN in! with whatever it is you are feeling and really DO IT, grieve it, know it, and then it will be easier to leave it behind. You can’t cheat the system, you’ve got to do it or else – it will come right back to you.

And yet…

I’m a new fan of Danielle Laporte and how she’s walking in this world and after typing in On_Pep in the title bar of this post and writing a few lines I jumped to her website and saw something about pep.

Her message which I think is aimed at me and maybe all of us today –

Push. Turn up the volume. Go hard. Go harder.
Re-prioritize your aches and pains.
Infuse your sensitivities with courage.
Tell fear to fuck right the fuck off.
Devote to Done.

There are soul-justified reasons to cancel. There are times to just stop. This isn’t one of them. Keep going. Show up. Full on. Full tilt. Full out. Decide to be one of those people who pull it off.

Do what you say you’re going to do.
Don’t let us down.
Decide to rise.

So I’m telling myself to grieve big and let go and Miss Laporte is telling me to tell fear to back the fuck up, hmmm.

Which one do I choose?

I choose both – living in the gray – I’ll grieve a bit and then listen to Miss Laporte’s advice. Thank you Danielle Laporte for kicking my ass today, right when I needed it. I’m not feeling IT, but I’m now feeling THIS.

No one has more power in your world than you. Deep down we all know this, but it’s good to remember and remind ourselves often, if we want something, I mean really want it, we have to do something.

My challenge to myself for this year has been to do one thing everyday that pushes me forward into the future, just one. I might be crying and grieving while I’m doing that one thing, but damn it! – I’m going to show up and keep doing one thing. Every day.

One meeting, one phone call, one blog post, one more page written in the memoir.

One thing feels easy – once you start doing it and seeing the effect. It might even multiply and turn into two or three things, but you only have to commit to one.

Today, my one thing is writing this blog. What’s your one thing that’s going to take you somewhere new? Don’t let us down.